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Why it Gets Bad Before it Gets Good

Updated: Sep 13, 2022

Have you ever felt such a deep level of frustration that you literally told yourself, “I can’t go on like this anymore?” And as if on cue, your body and mind gave up the fight that you can’t even remember how long you’ve been fighting? All of a sudden that wall of resistance falls down and surrender and relief trickle in. The calm after the storm.

Perhaps you experienced a time like this when realizing it was time to break up with a partner, or leave a job you hated, or whatever else you’ve been trying to hold on to for probably much longer than you should have. Maybe you’re reaching that breaking point now and have yet to see the other side.

Personally, I’ve had many instances of this happen throughout my life, but two that stand out in particular. The reason they stand out so much is that experiencing those boiling points was exactly what allowed me to finally fall into a resistance-less state in which I was fully ready to receive what I had been asking for… and that’s exactly when it finally and effortlessly showed up.

In both instances, I had been fighting for something I wanted, and when I say fighting I mean doing everything I knew how, putting in the time, paying my dues, or whatever you want to call it. But you know the one thing I wasn’t doing? Allowing something greater than me to assist with making the magic happen… because I believed that to be a form of giving up, of failing, of powerlessness, of not doing enough to create the life I wanted. I believed that “allowing” was no where near as effective as exerting effort and taking action.

Now I realize how that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Life is a co-creation…a play between the actions you are inspired to take and your ability to sit back, receive, and leave some of that work up to another force outside of you. Now you can believe that other force to be God, Source, the Universe or simply the chaotic, unordered, interconnectedness of everything on the planet. But when you believe yourself to be the only one with power over your destiny, you stand in your own way more than you think. When you believe that being in a receiving-mode is giving up your power, you keep yourself in that endless hustle, working hard with little to show for it but that frustration that’s been accumulating.

Now I know that we hear phrases like, “Take control of your life,” and “You’re in charge,” or “take the driver’s seat,” all the time. There is nothing wrong with those statements. The trouble is that most of us don’t interpret those statements in a way that includes this crucial element of allowing things to simply come together. We’re all yang and leave no room for yin.

But this is why frustration or things getting really bad, are sometimes so necessary for things to get really good. Because it’s only in this moment of finally “giving up,” that we are capable of trusting in something greater than ourselves to guide us through to the finish line.

If your frustration has been growing, and things are getting really bad, buckle your seat belt, because I promise that things are about to get really good. If frustration is what it takes to believe in the efficacy of co-creating your reality, then let that frustration build. Let it take you to a place of complete surrender where you realize you have done your part, and it is enough. Now all that is left for you to do is to sit back and receive the fruits of your hard work.

I am so appreciative for those instances in which my frustration led me to the end of the tunnel. It may not have felt so fun, in fact it was pretty excruciating, but I would not take back any of it knowing that these breaking points are exactly what led to my biggest breakthroughs and the total fulfillment of my desires.

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